A loving, completely objective field guide
Austin sucks.
(We said it so you don’t have to.)
The traffic. The heat. The pollen with a personal vendetta. The $10 taco. If you’ve been quietly googling “how to leave Austin” from a red light on I-35, you’re among friends.
Exhibit A
The official list of grievances
- 01
I-35
Not a highway. A 90-mile parking lot with a Buc-ee’s at each end and a construction project older than your kids.
- 02
August
Runs from May to October. A “cool front” here means 101°. Your steering wheel is a branding iron.
- 03
Cedar fever
Every January the trees organize and try to kill you, personally. The pollen count is measured in tons.
- 04
The breakfast taco
$9.75. Plus tip. Plus a 40-minute line. Plus a guy behind you explaining the “real” taco spot.
- 05
Property taxes
You don’t own your house. You lease it from the appraisal district, and they raise the rent every spring.
- 06
MoPac Express
Same speed as the regular lanes. It just costs $11 and comes with a sense of regret.
- 07
The grackles
Screaming prehistoric birds that own every H-E-B parking lot. You are a guest in their kingdom.
- 08
“Keep Austin Weird”
Now printed on a $38 shirt sold in the lobby of a luxury condo tower.
- 09
Your favorite dive bar
Now a 44-story tower with a rooftop pool and a “speakeasy concept.” The jukebox is in a landfill.
- 10
Brunch
Two-hour wait. $16 mimosa. The eggs are “deconstructed,” which means they forgot to cook them together.
- 11
The official state bird
The construction crane. There are more cranes downtown than parking spots, and neither is available.
- 12
Lake Travis
Either overflowing or a very large field. There is no in-between, and your dock is always wrong.
- 13
South by Southwest
One week a year you can’t get a table, an Uber, or out of your own driveway. Also it’s ten days.
- 14
Every coffee shop
A pitch meeting. You just wanted a latte. You are now an advisor to a fintech startup.
Have one we missed? File a grievance.
Exhibit A, part two
Grievances from the people
The wall is empty. Somebody has to go first. It might as well be you.
File a grievance
Traffic, heat, pollen, prices, parking, the grackle that looked at you funny. The good ones go on the wall.
Exhibit B
Should you leave Austin?
Five questions. Brutally scientific. Takes less time than one light cycle on Lamar.
Exhibit C
Okay, but where would you even go?
Across town
Georgetown, Hutto, Taylor, Salado, Round Rock. Same Texas, fewer cranes, and a yard you can actually see.
Out of state
We’ll connect you with a great agent wherever you’re headed, so you’re not house hunting from 1,000 miles away.
Undecided
Start with what your house could sell for. It’s amazing how much clarity one number brings. Get an instant estimate.
The straight answers
Thinking about leaving Austin?
Why are people moving out of Austin?
The usual reasons are cost of living, property taxes, traffic, and summer heat. Plenty of people don’t leave Central Texas at all: they move out to Georgetown, Hutto, Taylor, Salado, or Round Rock for more house and less commute. Others head out of state entirely.
Is now a good time to sell my house in Austin?
It depends on your neighborhood, your price point, and how quickly you need to move. The market shifts month to month, so the honest answer comes from recent sales near you. A local agent can put together a comparative market analysis that shows what similar homes are actually selling for right now.
What does it cost to sell a house in Austin?
Costs typically include agent compensation (which is negotiable), title and closing costs, any repairs or prep you choose to do, and prorated property taxes. Ask your agent for a net sheet so you can see what you would walk away with before you list.
Can I sell my Austin house and buy my next one at the same time?
Yes. Buyers do this every day by timing the two closings, using a sale contingency, negotiating a leaseback, or financing the gap. The right option depends on your equity and your lender, so plan the sequence before you list.
I’m moving out of state. Can you help on the other end?
Yes. Tell us where you’re headed and we’ll introduce you to a vetted agent in that market, so you can sell here and buy there with one plan.
Is this website serious?
The jokes are satire. We actually love Austin. The agents are real, licensed, and local, and they’d be glad to help you move, whether you’re leaving town or just leaving I-35.
The real part
Plan your escape.
Okay, jokes aside: the people behind this site are local real estate agents who sell homes all over Central Texas. Tell us about your house and a licensed agent will send you a no-pressure market analysis and a plan to get you moved, whether that’s across town or across the country.
Want a number right now? Try our instant estimate. It’s automated, so an agent’s analysis will be sharper.
We actually love Austin. We just also love helping people move.